Guidelines for Children’s Book Revision-Six weeks test
*Write the title. Titles of books always get underlined.
*Write the author’s name, illustrator’s name and any other names that the publisher has credited. Then add: Adapted by (your name)
*Highlight any “be” verbs in the text. Work to rewrite the sentence in the active voice.
*Find an appropriate place to add a prepositional phrase to the beginning of a sentence.
*Find an appropriate place to add an appositive phrase to a sentence.
*Find an appropriate place to add a gerund phrase to a sentence.
*Find an appropriate place to add a participial phrase to a sentence.
*Find an appropriate place to add an infinitive phrase to a sentence.
*Find an appropriate place to combine two sentences using a subordinate conjunction.
*Make sure you use complete sentences.
*Remove any redundancy.
*Check punctuation for accuracy.
*Make sure the reader can follow and understand the plot without the benefit of pictures.
In order to get credit for the requirements above, you may not use the elements that the author provided for you. You must add those elements yourself. For example, if the original text has infinitive phrases, you may not claim those; you must add another of your own.
Friday, September 25, 2009
Tuesday, September 1, 2009
more help with power writing
Here's a link to help you and give you more transition words:
http://cte.jhu.edu/techacademy/web/2000/campbellk/PowerWritDef.html
http://cte.jhu.edu/techacademy/web/2000/campbellk/PowerWritDef.html
Friday, August 28, 2009
transition words
Transition Words
Order Words:
first , next , then , last , finally
To Compare To Things:
in the same way, similarly, likewise, like,
as, and also.
To Summarize or Conclude:as a result, finally, in conclusion,
therefore, last, and in summary.
To Show Location:
above, across, against, along, among,
around, behind, below, beneath,
beside, between, by, down, in back of,
in front of, inside, into, near, off, on top
of, outside, over, throughout, to the right,
under.
To Add Information:
again, also, another, and, besides, for
example, for instance, next, finally, as
well, along with.
To Show Time:
about, after, at, before, during, first,
second, third, until, meanwhile, today,
tomorrow, yesterday, next, soon, later,
finally, then, as soon as, when.
To Contrast Things:
but, yet, otherwise, however, on the
other hand, still, although, and even
though.
To emphasize a Point:
again, for this reason, and in fact.
Transition Words
Order Words:
first , next , then , last , finally
To Compare Two Things:
in the same way, similarly, likewise, like,
as, and also.
To Summarize or Conclude:
as a result, finally, in conclusion,
therefore, last, and in summary.
To Show Location:
above, across, against, along, among,
around, behind, below, beneath,
beside, between, by, down, in back of,
in front of, inside, into, near, off, on top
of, outside, over, throughout, to the right,
under.
To Add Information:
again, also, another, and, besides, for
example, for instance, next, finally, as
well, along with.
To Show Time:
about, after, at, before, during, first,
second, third, until, meanwhile, today,
tomorrow, yesterday, next, soon, later,
finally, then, as soon as, when.
To Contrast Things:
but, yet, otherwise, however, on the
other hand, still, although, and even
though.
To emphasize a Point:
again, for this reason, and in fact.
Order Words:
first , next , then , last , finally
To Compare To Things:
in the same way, similarly, likewise, like,
as, and also.
To Summarize or Conclude:as a result, finally, in conclusion,
therefore, last, and in summary.
To Show Location:
above, across, against, along, among,
around, behind, below, beneath,
beside, between, by, down, in back of,
in front of, inside, into, near, off, on top
of, outside, over, throughout, to the right,
under.
To Add Information:
again, also, another, and, besides, for
example, for instance, next, finally, as
well, along with.
To Show Time:
about, after, at, before, during, first,
second, third, until, meanwhile, today,
tomorrow, yesterday, next, soon, later,
finally, then, as soon as, when.
To Contrast Things:
but, yet, otherwise, however, on the
other hand, still, although, and even
though.
To emphasize a Point:
again, for this reason, and in fact.
Transition Words
Order Words:
first , next , then , last , finally
To Compare Two Things:
in the same way, similarly, likewise, like,
as, and also.
To Summarize or Conclude:
as a result, finally, in conclusion,
therefore, last, and in summary.
To Show Location:
above, across, against, along, among,
around, behind, below, beneath,
beside, between, by, down, in back of,
in front of, inside, into, near, off, on top
of, outside, over, throughout, to the right,
under.
To Add Information:
again, also, another, and, besides, for
example, for instance, next, finally, as
well, along with.
To Show Time:
about, after, at, before, during, first,
second, third, until, meanwhile, today,
tomorrow, yesterday, next, soon, later,
finally, then, as soon as, when.
To Contrast Things:
but, yet, otherwise, however, on the
other hand, still, although, and even
though.
To emphasize a Point:
again, for this reason, and in fact.
power examples
Topic sentence is called the first power
Second power – major details
1) animals
2) dog
2) cat
While driving down the road, I saw two animals. 2) A young dog was carrying a newspaper across the pasture. 2) Later, I saw a cat that was being chased by a blue jay.
Third power adds minor detail – elaboration about the second power idea
1) animals
2) dog
3) [detail about second power]
2) cat
3) [detail about second power]
1) While driving down the road, I saw two animals. 2) A young dog was carrying a newspaper across the pasture. 3) I’ll bet someone will be really upset when they discover their missing newspaper. 2) Later, I saw a cat that was being chased by a blue jay. 3) The cat probably got too close to the bird’s nest.
Second power – major details
1) animals
2) dog
2) cat
While driving down the road, I saw two animals. 2) A young dog was carrying a newspaper across the pasture. 2) Later, I saw a cat that was being chased by a blue jay.
Third power adds minor detail – elaboration about the second power idea
1) animals
2) dog
3) [detail about second power]
2) cat
3) [detail about second power]
1) While driving down the road, I saw two animals. 2) A young dog was carrying a newspaper across the pasture. 3) I’ll bet someone will be really upset when they discover their missing newspaper. 2) Later, I saw a cat that was being chased by a blue jay. 3) The cat probably got too close to the bird’s nest.
power umbrella
Power Writing
1st power = Main ideas, topic sentences and topic paragraphs
2nd power = Major details that explain main ideas
3rd power = Minor details that elaborate upon or clarify major details
Words, phrases, sentences, and paragraphs all have power as they relate to the other words, phrases, sentences and paragraphs.
A 1st power word serves as the most general, the “umbrella” word under which 2nd power words belong
1st power = Main ideas, topic sentences and topic paragraphs
2nd power = Major details that explain main ideas
3rd power = Minor details that elaborate upon or clarify major details
Words, phrases, sentences, and paragraphs all have power as they relate to the other words, phrases, sentences and paragraphs.
A 1st power word serves as the most general, the “umbrella” word under which 2nd power words belong
Write for Power
WRITE FOR POWER
Purpose for this style of writing:
To enhance unity, clarity, and coherence-
The "powers" will keep you on target. You will not ramble because each sentence must explain some preceding power. The first power sentence must serve as the umbrella, the general statement for which the other two sentences provide specifics. Also, each first power sentence must have expressed or implied a word or group of words we will call the Power Word or Words that unlock detail.
To make writing more clear for a reader, a writer often begins second power sentences, or uses somewhere within the sentences, transitions to make the flow of thought easy to follow. In addition to transition words from your list, you may repeat a word or words, or idea from the first power sentence as the transition.
A person will tend to make every type of error in three sentences as he will in thirty; thus, learn to control quality in your writing before you increase the quantity of it.
Master these guidelines
To become literate:
1. Use ink.
2. Have one-inch margins on all four sides of the paper.
3. Control neatness (no cross-outs nor ink erasures).
4. Indent the opening sentence of a paragraph one inch.
5. Write complete sentences.
6. Use proper grammar.
7. Spell correctly.
8. Punctuate properly.
Adapted from J. E. Sparks – Write For Power
Purpose for this style of writing:
To enhance unity, clarity, and coherence-
The "powers" will keep you on target. You will not ramble because each sentence must explain some preceding power. The first power sentence must serve as the umbrella, the general statement for which the other two sentences provide specifics. Also, each first power sentence must have expressed or implied a word or group of words we will call the Power Word or Words that unlock detail.
To make writing more clear for a reader, a writer often begins second power sentences, or uses somewhere within the sentences, transitions to make the flow of thought easy to follow. In addition to transition words from your list, you may repeat a word or words, or idea from the first power sentence as the transition.
A person will tend to make every type of error in three sentences as he will in thirty; thus, learn to control quality in your writing before you increase the quantity of it.
Master these guidelines
To become literate:
1. Use ink.
2. Have one-inch margins on all four sides of the paper.
3. Control neatness (no cross-outs nor ink erasures).
4. Indent the opening sentence of a paragraph one inch.
5. Write complete sentences.
6. Use proper grammar.
7. Spell correctly.
8. Punctuate properly.
Adapted from J. E. Sparks – Write For Power
Power Writing power point notes
ppt notes Monday, August 31
Power Writing
What is it?
How do I do it?
Why doesn’t my teacher just let me write the way I want?
What is it?Power Writing is a method…
To help you organize what you want to write, and
To help you write clearly, concisely, and logically
What is it?Power Writing acts as a foundation for your writing
At first, your writing may seem plain and boring when you are learning the basics.
…but then you add style, and your plain writing transforms into an interesting and unique piece. Just like a house can have style, so can your writing.
How do I do it? Let’s learn the foundation.Power Writing assigns numbers to each sentence…
1st Power Sentence
Contains the main idea or topic sentence
May state a number
Example:
My parents gave me permission to go camping for two reasons.
2nd Power Sentence
Contains general or broad information
Refers to the 1st PS (Power Sentence)
Example:
First, I did all my chores.
(This sentence contains broad information because we don’t know what the chores were.)
1st and 2nd Power Sentences Together:
My parents gave me permission to go camping for two reasons. First, I did all my chores. Secondly, I earned good grades.
1st Power Sentence (PS) = Topic 2nd Power Sentences give information that refers to the 1st Power Sentence
3rd PS (Power Sentence)
Contains specific information
Refers to the 2nd PS directly above it
Example:
My parents gave me permission to go camping for two reasons. First, I did all my chores. I vacuumed my bedroom, and I cleaned my bathroom.
(This 3rd PS tells something specific about the chores, so it is
giving more info about the 2nd PS right above it.)
Let’s put these sentences together to form a paragraph. We’ll have a paragraph containing five Power Writing sentences: 1-2-3-2-3
My parents gave me permission to go camping for two reasons. First, I did all my chores. I vacuumed my bedroom, and I cleaned my bathroom. Secondly, I earned good grades. I received an 85 in math because I did my homework every day.
Sometimes you will see Power Writing numbers written vertically to show the relationship of the sentences to each other.
1
2-3
2-3
Sometimes you will see Power Writing numbers written vertically to show the relationship of the sentences to each other.
1
2-3
2-3
So the first 3rd Power Sentence tells exactly what chores the writer completed. It gives specific info about the 2nd PS right above it.1-2-3-2-3
My parents gave me permission to go camping for two reasons. First, I did all my chores. I vacuumed my bedroom, and I cleaned my bathroom. Secondly, I earned good grades. I received an 85 in math because I did my homework every day.
The next 3rd Power Sentence tells exactly what the writer did to get good grades. Therefore, it gives information about the 2nd PS directly above it.
4th Power Sentence
Contains very specific information
Refers to the 3rd PS (Power Sentence) directly above it
Example:
It took me about two hours to clean only because my bathtub had lots of black mold around the edge.
When we put it together, we have a Power Writing paragraph: 1-2-3-4-2-3-4
My parents gave me permission to go camping for two reasons. First, I did all my chores. I vacuumed my bedroom and cleaned my bathroom. It took me about two hours to clean only because my bathtub had lots of black mold around the edge. Secondly, I earned good grades. I received an 85 in math because I did my homework every day. Sometimes it was hard to complete my assignments when I had soccer practice on school nights.
1
2-3-4
2-3-4
Okay, we have a paragraph written in a clear, concise, and logical way but it is boring. However, you can transform a logical but boring piece of writing into something interesting by adding style. Try these simple methods: 1. Vary sentence beginnings2. Use vivid vocabulary 3. Use figurative language. Look at the next slide to see style changes added…
Having a foolproof plan helped me easily win my parents’ permission to go camping. No matter what, I completed my chores when I was told. Vacuuming the house went quickly, but scrubbing my bathroom posed problems. It could take me two hours to complete both jobs because of the intensive effort required to free the black mold blooming along the edges of my tub. Next, I maintained good grades even in my hardest subject. By doing my homework every night, I earned an 85 in math. However, maintaining this nightly homework routine was difficult on evenings I returned home from soccer practice exhausted.
As you can see, we maintained the foundation of the paragraph. In other words, though it sounded better because it had style, it was still written in a logical way.
So when you write, always have the Power Writing foundation so it is organized, but then add lots of style to make it interesting.
Basic Foundation + Style= Interesting
Why doesn’t my teacher just let me write the way I want?Because your teacher …
Wants you to excel.
Wants you to grow as a writer, to get better at what you can do.
Remember: Words are the outer clothing of our ideas.
-Agatha Christie, author
Why doesn’t my teacher just let me write the way I want?
Because your teacher …
Wants to give you the tools to organize your thoughts, so you can communicate with others.
Remember: If people can not write well, they can not think well. And, if they can not think well, others will do the thinking for them.
- George Orwell, author
There is more to learn about Power Writing
How to write an introduction
How to write a conclusion
How to write longer pieces
But don’t worry… your teacher will help you, step-by-step, until your are writing great things.
Power Writing
What is it?
How do I do it?
Why doesn’t my teacher just let me write the way I want?
What is it?Power Writing is a method…
To help you organize what you want to write, and
To help you write clearly, concisely, and logically
What is it?Power Writing acts as a foundation for your writing
At first, your writing may seem plain and boring when you are learning the basics.
…but then you add style, and your plain writing transforms into an interesting and unique piece. Just like a house can have style, so can your writing.
How do I do it? Let’s learn the foundation.Power Writing assigns numbers to each sentence…
1st Power Sentence
Contains the main idea or topic sentence
May state a number
Example:
My parents gave me permission to go camping for two reasons.
2nd Power Sentence
Contains general or broad information
Refers to the 1st PS (Power Sentence)
Example:
First, I did all my chores.
(This sentence contains broad information because we don’t know what the chores were.)
1st and 2nd Power Sentences Together:
My parents gave me permission to go camping for two reasons. First, I did all my chores. Secondly, I earned good grades.
1st Power Sentence (PS) = Topic 2nd Power Sentences give information that refers to the 1st Power Sentence
3rd PS (Power Sentence)
Contains specific information
Refers to the 2nd PS directly above it
Example:
My parents gave me permission to go camping for two reasons. First, I did all my chores. I vacuumed my bedroom, and I cleaned my bathroom.
(This 3rd PS tells something specific about the chores, so it is
giving more info about the 2nd PS right above it.)
Let’s put these sentences together to form a paragraph. We’ll have a paragraph containing five Power Writing sentences: 1-2-3-2-3
My parents gave me permission to go camping for two reasons. First, I did all my chores. I vacuumed my bedroom, and I cleaned my bathroom. Secondly, I earned good grades. I received an 85 in math because I did my homework every day.
Sometimes you will see Power Writing numbers written vertically to show the relationship of the sentences to each other.
1
2-3
2-3
Sometimes you will see Power Writing numbers written vertically to show the relationship of the sentences to each other.
1
2-3
2-3
So the first 3rd Power Sentence tells exactly what chores the writer completed. It gives specific info about the 2nd PS right above it.1-2-3-2-3
My parents gave me permission to go camping for two reasons. First, I did all my chores. I vacuumed my bedroom, and I cleaned my bathroom. Secondly, I earned good grades. I received an 85 in math because I did my homework every day.
The next 3rd Power Sentence tells exactly what the writer did to get good grades. Therefore, it gives information about the 2nd PS directly above it.
4th Power Sentence
Contains very specific information
Refers to the 3rd PS (Power Sentence) directly above it
Example:
It took me about two hours to clean only because my bathtub had lots of black mold around the edge.
When we put it together, we have a Power Writing paragraph: 1-2-3-4-2-3-4
My parents gave me permission to go camping for two reasons. First, I did all my chores. I vacuumed my bedroom and cleaned my bathroom. It took me about two hours to clean only because my bathtub had lots of black mold around the edge. Secondly, I earned good grades. I received an 85 in math because I did my homework every day. Sometimes it was hard to complete my assignments when I had soccer practice on school nights.
1
2-3-4
2-3-4
Okay, we have a paragraph written in a clear, concise, and logical way but it is boring. However, you can transform a logical but boring piece of writing into something interesting by adding style. Try these simple methods: 1. Vary sentence beginnings2. Use vivid vocabulary 3. Use figurative language. Look at the next slide to see style changes added…
Having a foolproof plan helped me easily win my parents’ permission to go camping. No matter what, I completed my chores when I was told. Vacuuming the house went quickly, but scrubbing my bathroom posed problems. It could take me two hours to complete both jobs because of the intensive effort required to free the black mold blooming along the edges of my tub. Next, I maintained good grades even in my hardest subject. By doing my homework every night, I earned an 85 in math. However, maintaining this nightly homework routine was difficult on evenings I returned home from soccer practice exhausted.
As you can see, we maintained the foundation of the paragraph. In other words, though it sounded better because it had style, it was still written in a logical way.
So when you write, always have the Power Writing foundation so it is organized, but then add lots of style to make it interesting.
Basic Foundation + Style= Interesting
Why doesn’t my teacher just let me write the way I want?Because your teacher …
Wants you to excel.
Wants you to grow as a writer, to get better at what you can do.
Remember: Words are the outer clothing of our ideas.
-Agatha Christie, author
Why doesn’t my teacher just let me write the way I want?
Because your teacher …
Wants to give you the tools to organize your thoughts, so you can communicate with others.
Remember: If people can not write well, they can not think well. And, if they can not think well, others will do the thinking for them.
- George Orwell, author
There is more to learn about Power Writing
How to write an introduction
How to write a conclusion
How to write longer pieces
But don’t worry… your teacher will help you, step-by-step, until your are writing great things.
Wednesday, August 26, 2009
List Yourself
August 26
Make columns on your paper and list ten (10) items in each category. You should have a total of 10 categories with 10 items listed under each. You may double or triple column on the same sheet but don't write on the back please.
List Yourself
List the activities you’d do if you weren’t so afraid.
List all the smells that evoke emotions or memories.
List what consistently worries you each day.
List what always makes you laugh.
List all the products you’d eliminate to make a better world.
List the best gifts you’ve ever been given.
List the ways you’ve changed for the better (or worse).
List the toys, clothes, and other items you wish you could have saved from your childhood.
List the ideas you feel passionately about.
List all the things you hide when friends come to visit.
Make columns on your paper and list ten (10) items in each category. You should have a total of 10 categories with 10 items listed under each. You may double or triple column on the same sheet but don't write on the back please.
List Yourself
List the activities you’d do if you weren’t so afraid.
List all the smells that evoke emotions or memories.
List what consistently worries you each day.
List what always makes you laugh.
List all the products you’d eliminate to make a better world.
List the best gifts you’ve ever been given.
List the ways you’ve changed for the better (or worse).
List the toys, clothes, and other items you wish you could have saved from your childhood.
List the ideas you feel passionately about.
List all the things you hide when friends come to visit.
Walk Through the Forest
August 25
Through the Forest
Close your eyes and visualize a forest. We are going to walk through the forest. Be aware of the sights, the sounds, the smells, the textures, even the tastes if you want to…everything around you. Follow instructions listed below. Use complete sentences and keep writing until you include all prompts below. You should have a couple of pages. Use as much detail as possible. Don’t worry about anything but writing at this point. Keep the word LIFE in mind as you write.
1. You have parked your car in the parking lot, strapped on your backpack, adjusted your hiking boots, and are ready to begin. You enter the forest. Describe the forest.
2. After you have walked a while, you see a key on the ground. Describe the key then pick it up and put it in your backpack and walk on.
3. Soon you spot a cup under a tree. Describe the cup.
4. All of a sudden you hear a noise. When you turn around, you see a bear. What do you do?
5. Once you and the bear part company, you resume your walk and you discover a lake. Describe the lake then make your way to the other shore.
6. When you get to the other side of the lake, you find a cave. Describe the cave.
7. At the end of your walk through the forest, you come upon a wall. Describe the wall.
8. Conclude your walk.
Through the Forest
Close your eyes and visualize a forest. We are going to walk through the forest. Be aware of the sights, the sounds, the smells, the textures, even the tastes if you want to…everything around you. Follow instructions listed below. Use complete sentences and keep writing until you include all prompts below. You should have a couple of pages. Use as much detail as possible. Don’t worry about anything but writing at this point. Keep the word LIFE in mind as you write.
1. You have parked your car in the parking lot, strapped on your backpack, adjusted your hiking boots, and are ready to begin. You enter the forest. Describe the forest.
2. After you have walked a while, you see a key on the ground. Describe the key then pick it up and put it in your backpack and walk on.
3. Soon you spot a cup under a tree. Describe the cup.
4. All of a sudden you hear a noise. When you turn around, you see a bear. What do you do?
5. Once you and the bear part company, you resume your walk and you discover a lake. Describe the lake then make your way to the other shore.
6. When you get to the other side of the lake, you find a cave. Describe the cave.
7. At the end of your walk through the forest, you come upon a wall. Describe the wall.
8. Conclude your walk.
Monday, February 23, 2009
Voice Lesson #3
Diction
Consider: Close by the fire sat an old man whose countenance was furrowed with distress. -James Boswell, Boswell's London Journal
Discuss:
1. What does the word furrowed connote about the man's distress?
2. How would the impact of the sentence be changed if furrowed were changed to lined or wrinkled?
Apply: Write a sentence using a verb to describe a facial expression. Imply through your verb choice that the expression is intense. Use Boswell's sentence as a model. Circle the intense verb.
Detail
Consider: I rounded the hut and saw a man's dead body sprawling in the mud. He was an Indian, a black Dravidian coolie almost naked, and he could not have been dead many minutes. The people said that the elephant had come suddenly upon him round the corner of the hut, caught him with its trunk, put its foot on his back and ground him into the earth. This was the rainy season and the ground was soft, and his face had scored a trench a foot deep and a couple of yards long. He was lying on his belly with arms crucified and head sharply twisted to one side. His face was coated with mud, the eyes wide open, the teeth bared and grinning with an expression of unendurable agony. -- George Orwell, "Shooting an Elephant"
Discuss:
1. What is the author's attitude toward the coolie's death? What details in the passage reveal this attitude?
2. Examine the last sentence of this paragraph. How would it have affected the overall impact had Orwell written, his eyes wide open, his teeth bared and grinning...?
Apply: Think of an event that you have personally witnessed which horrified you. Your job is to describe that event and evoke the horror. Do not state or explain that you were horrified. Instead, use detail to describe the event and reveal your attitude. Share your description with the class.
Imagery
Consider: A ripe guava is yellow, although some varieties have a pink tinge. the skin is thick, firm, and sweet. Its heart is bright pink and almost solid with seeds. the most delicious part of the guava surrounds the tiny seeds. If you don't know how to eat a guava, the seeds end up in the crevices between your teeth.
When you bite into a ripe guava, your teeth must grip the bumpy surface and sink in to the thick edible skin without hitting the center....
A green guava is sour and hard. You bite into it at its widest point, because it's easier to grasp with your teeth. You hear the skin, meat,and seeds crunching inside your hear, while the inside of your mouth explodes in little spurts of sour. --Esmerelda Santiago, When I Was Puerto Rican
Discuss:
1. The imagery in the second sentence is simple and direct. What effects do such simplicity and directness have on the reader?
2. Santiago uses an adjective (sour) as a noun in her final image. What effect does this have on the meaning of the image?
Apply: Write a sentence which contains an image that captures the taste of something you hate. Your image should contain an adjective used as a noun. Share your image with a partner.
Syntax
Consider: When the moment is ripe, only the fanatic can hatch a genuine mass movement. Without him the disaffection engendered by militant men of words remains undirected and can vent itself only in pointless and easily suppressed disorders. Without him the initiated reforms, even when drastic, leave the old way of life unchanged, and any change in government usually amounts to no more than a transfer of power from one set of men of action to another. Without him there can perhaps be no new beginning. -- Eric Hoffer, "The Fanatics"
Discuss:
1. This passage uses the phrase "without him" three times. What effect dose this have on the overall impact of the passage?
2. How does the length of the last sentence affect the meaning of the passage?
Apply: Start with the following sentence.
Of all the instruments of modern technology, only the computer brings people closer together.
Now add two sentences which amplify the first sentence. Each of these sentences should begin with a prepositional phrase.
Consider: Close by the fire sat an old man whose countenance was furrowed with distress. -James Boswell, Boswell's London Journal
Discuss:
1. What does the word furrowed connote about the man's distress?
2. How would the impact of the sentence be changed if furrowed were changed to lined or wrinkled?
Apply: Write a sentence using a verb to describe a facial expression. Imply through your verb choice that the expression is intense. Use Boswell's sentence as a model. Circle the intense verb.
Detail
Consider: I rounded the hut and saw a man's dead body sprawling in the mud. He was an Indian, a black Dravidian coolie almost naked, and he could not have been dead many minutes. The people said that the elephant had come suddenly upon him round the corner of the hut, caught him with its trunk, put its foot on his back and ground him into the earth. This was the rainy season and the ground was soft, and his face had scored a trench a foot deep and a couple of yards long. He was lying on his belly with arms crucified and head sharply twisted to one side. His face was coated with mud, the eyes wide open, the teeth bared and grinning with an expression of unendurable agony. -- George Orwell, "Shooting an Elephant"
Discuss:
1. What is the author's attitude toward the coolie's death? What details in the passage reveal this attitude?
2. Examine the last sentence of this paragraph. How would it have affected the overall impact had Orwell written, his eyes wide open, his teeth bared and grinning...?
Apply: Think of an event that you have personally witnessed which horrified you. Your job is to describe that event and evoke the horror. Do not state or explain that you were horrified. Instead, use detail to describe the event and reveal your attitude. Share your description with the class.
Imagery
Consider: A ripe guava is yellow, although some varieties have a pink tinge. the skin is thick, firm, and sweet. Its heart is bright pink and almost solid with seeds. the most delicious part of the guava surrounds the tiny seeds. If you don't know how to eat a guava, the seeds end up in the crevices between your teeth.
When you bite into a ripe guava, your teeth must grip the bumpy surface and sink in to the thick edible skin without hitting the center....
A green guava is sour and hard. You bite into it at its widest point, because it's easier to grasp with your teeth. You hear the skin, meat,and seeds crunching inside your hear, while the inside of your mouth explodes in little spurts of sour. --Esmerelda Santiago, When I Was Puerto Rican
Discuss:
1. The imagery in the second sentence is simple and direct. What effects do such simplicity and directness have on the reader?
2. Santiago uses an adjective (sour) as a noun in her final image. What effect does this have on the meaning of the image?
Apply: Write a sentence which contains an image that captures the taste of something you hate. Your image should contain an adjective used as a noun. Share your image with a partner.
Syntax
Consider: When the moment is ripe, only the fanatic can hatch a genuine mass movement. Without him the disaffection engendered by militant men of words remains undirected and can vent itself only in pointless and easily suppressed disorders. Without him the initiated reforms, even when drastic, leave the old way of life unchanged, and any change in government usually amounts to no more than a transfer of power from one set of men of action to another. Without him there can perhaps be no new beginning. -- Eric Hoffer, "The Fanatics"
Discuss:
1. This passage uses the phrase "without him" three times. What effect dose this have on the overall impact of the passage?
2. How does the length of the last sentence affect the meaning of the passage?
Apply: Start with the following sentence.
Of all the instruments of modern technology, only the computer brings people closer together.
Now add two sentences which amplify the first sentence. Each of these sentences should begin with a prepositional phrase.
Monday, February 2, 2009
Voice Lessons #2
Diction-
consider: Wind rocks the car.
We sit parked by the river,
silence between our teeth.
Birds scatter across islands
of broken ice....
-Adrienne Rich, "Like This Together, for A.H.C."
discuss:
1. What are the feelings produced by the word rocks? Are the feelings gentle, violent, or both?
2. How would the meaning change if we changed the first line to Wind shakes the car?
apply: List different meanings for the verb rock. How many of these meanings would make sense in this poem? Remember that the poet often strives to capture complexity rather than a single view or meaning.
Imagery:
consider: The rainy night had ushered in a misty morning - half frost, half drizzle - and temporary brooks crossed our path, gurgling from the uplands.
- Emily Bronte, Wuthering Heights
discuss:
1. Bronte uses both visual and auditory imagery in this passage. Which words create visual images? Which words create auditory images? Which words create both?
2. What feelings are traditionally associated with rain, mist, and frost? How would the feeling of this passage be different if the rainy night had ushered in a brilliant, sunny morning?
apply: Write two sentences that create a mood of terror. Use visual and auditory imagery to describe the weather, thereby setting and reinforcing the mood. Share your sentences with the class. Draw a box around your auditory images.
Syntax:
consider: He had been prepared to lie, to bluster, to remain sullenly unresponsive; but, reassured by the good-humored intelligence of the Controller's face, he decided to tell the truth, straightforwardly. - Aldous Huxley, Brave New World
discuss:
1. What effect does the repetition of infinitives (to lie, to bluster, to remain) in the first clause have on the meaning of the sentence? How do these infinitives prepare you for the infinitive phrase (to tell the truth) in the second clause?
2. What is the function of the semicolon in Huxley's sentence?
apply: Write a sentence with two independent clauses connected by a semicolon. In the first clause use a series of infinitives (as in Huxley's sentence). In the second clause, use an infinitive to contradict your first clause. Your topic is a movie you have recently seen. Underline all of your infinitives.
Tone:
consider: But that is Cooper's way; frequently he will explain and justify little things that do not need it and then make up for this by as frequently failing to explain important ones that do need it. For instance he allowed that astute and cautious person, Deerslayer-Hawkeye, to throw his rifle heedlessly down and leave it lying on the ground where some hostile Indians would presently be sure to find it - a rifle prized by that person above all things else in the earth - and the reader gets no word of explanation of that strange act. There was a reason, but it wouldn't bear exposure. Cooper meant to get a fine dramatic effect out of the finding of the rifle by the Indians, and he accomplished this at the happy time; but all the same, Hawkeye could have hidden the rifle in a quarter of a minute where the Indians could not have found it. Cooper couldn't think of any way to explain why Hawkeye didn't do that, so he just shirked the difficulty and did not explain at all. - Mark Twain, "Cooper's Prose Style," Letters from the Earth
discuss:
1. What is Twain's tone in this passage? What is central to the tone of this passage: the attitude toward the speaker, the subject, or the reader?
2. How does Twain create the tone?
apply: Write a paragraph about a movie you have recently seen. Create a critical, disparaging tone through your choice of details. Use Twain's paragraph as a model. Underline tone words.
consider: Wind rocks the car.
We sit parked by the river,
silence between our teeth.
Birds scatter across islands
of broken ice....
-Adrienne Rich, "Like This Together, for A.H.C."
discuss:
1. What are the feelings produced by the word rocks? Are the feelings gentle, violent, or both?
2. How would the meaning change if we changed the first line to Wind shakes the car?
apply: List different meanings for the verb rock. How many of these meanings would make sense in this poem? Remember that the poet often strives to capture complexity rather than a single view or meaning.
Imagery:
consider: The rainy night had ushered in a misty morning - half frost, half drizzle - and temporary brooks crossed our path, gurgling from the uplands.
- Emily Bronte, Wuthering Heights
discuss:
1. Bronte uses both visual and auditory imagery in this passage. Which words create visual images? Which words create auditory images? Which words create both?
2. What feelings are traditionally associated with rain, mist, and frost? How would the feeling of this passage be different if the rainy night had ushered in a brilliant, sunny morning?
apply: Write two sentences that create a mood of terror. Use visual and auditory imagery to describe the weather, thereby setting and reinforcing the mood. Share your sentences with the class. Draw a box around your auditory images.
Syntax:
consider: He had been prepared to lie, to bluster, to remain sullenly unresponsive; but, reassured by the good-humored intelligence of the Controller's face, he decided to tell the truth, straightforwardly. - Aldous Huxley, Brave New World
discuss:
1. What effect does the repetition of infinitives (to lie, to bluster, to remain) in the first clause have on the meaning of the sentence? How do these infinitives prepare you for the infinitive phrase (to tell the truth) in the second clause?
2. What is the function of the semicolon in Huxley's sentence?
apply: Write a sentence with two independent clauses connected by a semicolon. In the first clause use a series of infinitives (as in Huxley's sentence). In the second clause, use an infinitive to contradict your first clause. Your topic is a movie you have recently seen. Underline all of your infinitives.
Tone:
consider: But that is Cooper's way; frequently he will explain and justify little things that do not need it and then make up for this by as frequently failing to explain important ones that do need it. For instance he allowed that astute and cautious person, Deerslayer-Hawkeye, to throw his rifle heedlessly down and leave it lying on the ground where some hostile Indians would presently be sure to find it - a rifle prized by that person above all things else in the earth - and the reader gets no word of explanation of that strange act. There was a reason, but it wouldn't bear exposure. Cooper meant to get a fine dramatic effect out of the finding of the rifle by the Indians, and he accomplished this at the happy time; but all the same, Hawkeye could have hidden the rifle in a quarter of a minute where the Indians could not have found it. Cooper couldn't think of any way to explain why Hawkeye didn't do that, so he just shirked the difficulty and did not explain at all. - Mark Twain, "Cooper's Prose Style," Letters from the Earth
discuss:
1. What is Twain's tone in this passage? What is central to the tone of this passage: the attitude toward the speaker, the subject, or the reader?
2. How does Twain create the tone?
apply: Write a paragraph about a movie you have recently seen. Create a critical, disparaging tone through your choice of details. Use Twain's paragraph as a model. Underline tone words.
Thursday, January 22, 2009
Annotating "The Raven"
We're learning to annotate text to help you become better active readers. Please see the following web pages:
http://www.bucks.edu/~specpop/Access/annotating.htm
This sight gives some instruction on how to annotate a text. Follow the guidelines to help you with the next site.
http://www.poedecoder.com/essays/raven/#summary
This site gives you the complete text for "The Raven". Print it out and annotate in the margins. The site also gives you some insight into meaning and symbolism.
Instructions for annotation:
http://www.bucks.edu/~specpop/Access/annotating.htm
This sight gives some instruction on how to annotate a text. Follow the guidelines to help you with the next site.
http://www.poedecoder.com/essays/raven/#summary
This site gives you the complete text for "The Raven". Print it out and annotate in the margins. The site also gives you some insight into meaning and symbolism.
Instructions for annotation:
- Mark alliteration with 2 underlines
- Mark assonance with a squiggle
- Make a box around internal rhyme
- Underline unfamiliar words & define in the left margin
- Summarize the stanza in the right margin
Tuesday, January 13, 2009
Greed Essay
Write an essay explaining how a person can be affected by greed.
Pay attention to VOICE elements as you write. Highlight and label the following:
Diction- use a medical term in an unusual way.
Detail- use 3 vivid details
Imagery- include 3 different sensory images
Syntax- include 1 sentence with 2 subordinate clauses
Tone- mke sure you set a clear tone. Use at least 3 tone words.
Pay attention to VOICE elements as you write. Highlight and label the following:
Diction- use a medical term in an unusual way.
Detail- use 3 vivid details
Imagery- include 3 different sensory images
Syntax- include 1 sentence with 2 subordinate clauses
Tone- mke sure you set a clear tone. Use at least 3 tone words.
5 elements of voice
Diction
Consider: Art is the antidote that can call us back from the edge of numbness, restoring the ability to feel for another. --Barbara Kingsolver, High Tide in Tucson
Discuss: By using the word antidote, what does the author imply about the inability to feel for another? If we changed the word antidote to gift, what effect would it have on the meaning of the sentence?
Apply: Write a sentence using a medical term to characterize art.
Detail
Consider: Whenever he was so fortunate as to have near him a spoiled hare that had been kept too long, or a meat pie made with rancid butter, he gorged himself with such violence that his veins swelled, and the moisture broke out on his forehead. -- Thomas Babington Macaulay, "Samuel Johnson"
Discuss: What effect does the detail (the spoiled hare, the rancid butter, the swollen veins, the sweaty forehead) have on the reader? How would the meaning of the sentence be changed by ending it after himself?
Apply: Write a sentence describing someone with disgusting eating habits. It must be one, correct sentence; and it must contain at least three vivid details.
Imagery
I was born the year of the loon
in a great commotion, My mother -
who used to pack $500 cash
in the shoulders of her gambling coat,
who had always considered herself
the family's "First Son" -
took one look at me
and lit out again
for a vacation in Sumatra.
Her brother purchased my baby clothes;
I've seen them, little clown suits
of silk and color.
- Mei-mei Berssenbrugge, "Chronicle"
Discuss: Examine the image of the baby clothes; little clown suits of silk and color. No specific color is mentioned. What effect does this have on the meaning of the lines? Contrast the description of the mother's gambling coat with the image of the baby clothes. What attitude do these images reveal about the mother?
Apply: list 5 items of clothing that can suggest either seriousness or frivolity. Tell me what image each item of clothing expresses.
Syntax
Consider: She is a woman sho misses moisture, who has always loved low green hedges and ferns. --Michael Ondaatje, The English Patient
Discuss: Both of the subordinate clauses in this sentence modify woman. What effect does this parallel structure have on the sentence? How would it change the feeling evoked by the sentence if it read: She misses moisture and has always loved low green hedges and ferns.
Apply: Write a sentence like Ondaatje's which layers two or more subordinate clauses to evoke a sharp image. Begin with "She was a friend who..."
Tone
Consider: It's true. If you want to buy a spring suit, the choice selection occurs in February: a bathing suit, March: back-to-school clothes, July: a fur coat, August. Did I tell you about the week I gave in to a mad-Mitty desire to buy a bathing suit in August?
The clerk, swathed in a long-sleeved woolen dress which made her look for the world like Teddy Snowcrop, was aghast. "Surely, you are putting me on," she said. "A bathing suit! In Augurt!"
"That's right," I said firmly, "and I am not leaving this store until you show me one."
She shrugged helplessly. "But surely you are aware of the fact that we haven't had a bathing suit in stock since the first of June. Our - no offense - White Elephant sale was June third and we unload - rather, disposed of all of our suits at that time." -Erma Bombeck, At Wit's End
Discuss: What is the attitude of the writer toward the subject matter? What diction and details does Bombeck use to express this attitude? In other words, what dictionand details create the tone of the passage?
Apply: Write down two words that describe the tone of this passage.
Consider: Art is the antidote that can call us back from the edge of numbness, restoring the ability to feel for another. --Barbara Kingsolver, High Tide in Tucson
Discuss: By using the word antidote, what does the author imply about the inability to feel for another? If we changed the word antidote to gift, what effect would it have on the meaning of the sentence?
Apply: Write a sentence using a medical term to characterize art.
Detail
Consider: Whenever he was so fortunate as to have near him a spoiled hare that had been kept too long, or a meat pie made with rancid butter, he gorged himself with such violence that his veins swelled, and the moisture broke out on his forehead. -- Thomas Babington Macaulay, "Samuel Johnson"
Discuss: What effect does the detail (the spoiled hare, the rancid butter, the swollen veins, the sweaty forehead) have on the reader? How would the meaning of the sentence be changed by ending it after himself?
Apply: Write a sentence describing someone with disgusting eating habits. It must be one, correct sentence; and it must contain at least three vivid details.
Imagery
I was born the year of the loon
in a great commotion, My mother -
who used to pack $500 cash
in the shoulders of her gambling coat,
who had always considered herself
the family's "First Son" -
took one look at me
and lit out again
for a vacation in Sumatra.
Her brother purchased my baby clothes;
I've seen them, little clown suits
of silk and color.
- Mei-mei Berssenbrugge, "Chronicle"
Discuss: Examine the image of the baby clothes; little clown suits of silk and color. No specific color is mentioned. What effect does this have on the meaning of the lines? Contrast the description of the mother's gambling coat with the image of the baby clothes. What attitude do these images reveal about the mother?
Apply: list 5 items of clothing that can suggest either seriousness or frivolity. Tell me what image each item of clothing expresses.
Syntax
Consider: She is a woman sho misses moisture, who has always loved low green hedges and ferns. --Michael Ondaatje, The English Patient
Discuss: Both of the subordinate clauses in this sentence modify woman. What effect does this parallel structure have on the sentence? How would it change the feeling evoked by the sentence if it read: She misses moisture and has always loved low green hedges and ferns.
Apply: Write a sentence like Ondaatje's which layers two or more subordinate clauses to evoke a sharp image. Begin with "She was a friend who..."
Tone
Consider: It's true. If you want to buy a spring suit, the choice selection occurs in February: a bathing suit, March: back-to-school clothes, July: a fur coat, August. Did I tell you about the week I gave in to a mad-Mitty desire to buy a bathing suit in August?
The clerk, swathed in a long-sleeved woolen dress which made her look for the world like Teddy Snowcrop, was aghast. "Surely, you are putting me on," she said. "A bathing suit! In Augurt!"
"That's right," I said firmly, "and I am not leaving this store until you show me one."
She shrugged helplessly. "But surely you are aware of the fact that we haven't had a bathing suit in stock since the first of June. Our - no offense - White Elephant sale was June third and we unload - rather, disposed of all of our suits at that time." -Erma Bombeck, At Wit's End
Discuss: What is the attitude of the writer toward the subject matter? What diction and details does Bombeck use to express this attitude? In other words, what dictionand details create the tone of the passage?
Apply: Write down two words that describe the tone of this passage.
Voice powerpoint
Diction
Detail
Imagery
Syntax
Tone
Writer’s Voice Defined
Voice, the color and texture of communication, stamps expression with the indelible mark of personality.
It expresses who we are: the fingerprint of a person’s language.
Elements of Voice
Diction-(word choice) the foundation of voice; contributes to all of its elements.
Detail-(facts, observations, and incidents) used to develop a topic, shaping and seasoning voice.
Imagery-(verbal representation of sense experience) brings the immediacy of sensory experience to writing and gives voice a distinctive quality.
Elements of Voice (cont.)
Syntax-(grammatical sentence structure) controls verbal pacing and focus.
Tone-(expression of attitude) gives voice its distinctive personality
Diction: Words
Create color and texture of written work
Reflect and determine level of formality
Shape the reader’s perception
What is a "writer’s voice"?
You learn at a very young age to interpret not only what your parents say but more importantly what they don’t say.
A writer doesn’t have the advantage of verbal and facial cues to interpret hidden meanings.
A writer’s voice helps them communicate intended meanings without "verbal cues".
Example
Cues- "The old stories add, moreover, that the devil presided at the hiding of the money, and took it under his guardianship; but this, it is well known, he always does with buried treasure; particularly when it has been ill gotten." Washington Irving "The Devil and Tom Walker"
Diction
Choosing clear, concrete, and exact words helps shape voice.
Good writer’s avoid words like pretty, nice, and bad.
Instead they choose words that invoke a specific effect: A coat isn’t torn; it is tattered. The United States Army does not want revenge; it is thirsting for revenge. A door does not shut; it thuds.
Specific diction brings the reader into the scene, enabling full participation in the writer’s world.
Example
Word choice- "…he met a black man one evening in his usual woodman’s dress, with his ax on his shoulder, sauntering along the swamp, and humming a tune." Washington Irving "The Devil and Tom Walker"
Example
Word choice- "Alice seemed to find nothing unusual in our embrace; she walked – almost danced, her movements were so graceful – to the center of the room, where she folded herself sinuously onto the floor." Stephenie Meyer Twilight
Diction
Diction depends on topic, purpose, and occasion.
The topic often determines the specificity and sophistication of diction
For example, articles on computers are filled with specialized language: e-mail, e-shopping, web, interface
Many topics generate special vocabularies as a link to meaning.
Diction
When choosing your words, you must consider both connotation (the meaning suggested by a word) and denotation (literal meaning).
Calling a character slender evokes a different feeling from calling the character gaunt.
Diction
Finally, diction can impart freshness and originality to writing.
Words used in surprising or unusual ways make us rethink what is known and re-examine meaning.
Good writers opt for complexity rather than simplicity, for multiple meanings rather than precision.
Diction, the foundation of voice, shapes a reader’s thinking while guiding reader insight into the author’s expression of thought.
Detail: facts, observations, and incidents
Detail brings life and color to description, focusing the reader’s attention and bringing the reader into the scene.
Detail encourages the reader to participate in the text.
Use of detail influences the reader’s views of the topic, the setting, the narrator, and the author.
Example
Description- "The swamp was thickly grown with great gloomy pines and hemlocks, some of them ninety feet high…partly covered with weeds and mosses, where the green surface often betrayed the traveler into a gulf of black, smothering mud…" Washington Irving "The Devil and Tom Walker"
Example
"We walked up the massive staircase, my hand trailing along the satin-smooth rail. The long hall at the top of the stairs was paneled with a honey-colored wood, the same as the floorboards." Stephenie Meyer Twilight
Detail
Details make an abstraction concrete, particular, and unmistakable, giving the abstraction form.
Detail focuses description and prepares readers to join the action.
Detail
Good writers choose detail with care, selecting those details which add meaning and avoiding those that trivialize or detract.
Imagery-sensory experience
In literature, all five senses may be represented
Imagery
Visual imagery is most common, but good writers experiment with a variety of images and even purposefully intermingle the senses (giving smells a color, for example) ["Lilacs have a purple smell. Lilac is the smell of nightfall, I think." John Proctor in Arthur Miller’s The Crucible]
Imagery depends on both diction and detail: an image’s success in producing a sensory experience results from the specificity of the author’s diction and choice of detail.
Imagery contributes to voice by evoking vivid experience, conveying specific emotion, and suggesting a particular idea.
Imagery
Imagery itself isn’t figurative, but may be used to impart figurative or symbolic meaning.
The parched earth can be a metaphor for a character’s despair, or a bird’s flight a metaphor for hope.
Example
Metaphor- "It was announced in the papers with the usual flourish, that a great man had fallen in Israel." Washington Irving "The Devil and Tom Walker"
Example
His skin, white despite the faint flush from yesterday’s hunting trip, literally sparkled, like thousands of tiny diamonds were embedded in the surface. He lay perfectly still in the grass, his shirt open over his sculpted, incandescent chest, his scintillating arms bare. His glistening, pale lavender lids are shut, though of course he didn’t sleep. A perfect statue, carved in some unknown stone, smooth like marble, glittering like crystal." Stephenie Meyer Twilight
Imagery
Traditional imagery typically has a history.
A river, for example, is usually associated with life’s journey.
Syntax: word arrangement
How writers control and manipulate the sentence is a strong determiner of voice and gives personality to the writing.
Syntax encompasses word order, sentence length, sentence focus, and punctuation.
Syntax
Deviating from the expected word order can serve to startle the reader and draw attention to the sentence.
Try these changes to normal order: inverting subject and verb (Am I ever sorry!) placing a complement at the beginning of a sentence (Hungry, without a doubt, he is) placing an object in front of a verb (Sara I like - not Susan).
Good writers shift between conformity and nonconformity to avoid reader complacency.
Syntax
Varying sentence length forestalls reader boredom and controls emphasis.
A short sentence following a much longer sentence shifts the reader’s attention, which emphasizes the meaning and importance of the short sentence.
Syntax
Punctuation also reinforces meaning and adds variety.
The semicolon gives equal weight to two or more independent clauses. It gives balance and emphasizes equal value to both parts of the sentence.
The colon directs reader attention to the words that follow. A colon, sets the expectation that important, closely related information will follow.
The dash marks a sudden change in thought or tone, sets off a brief summary. The dash often conveys a casual tone.
Example
Punctuation- "The needy and adventurous, the gambling speculator, the dreaming land jobber, the thriftless tradesman, the merchant with cracked credit,-in short, everyone driven to raise money by desperate means and desperate sacrifices hurried to Tom Walker." Washington Irving "The Devil and Tom Walker
Example
The vampire who wanted to be good – who ran around saving people’s lives so he wouldn’t be a monster…I stared toward the front of the room." Stephenie Meyer Twilight
Tone: attitude
The writer creates tone by selection (diction) and arrangement (syntax) of words, and by purposeful use of details and images.
Tone sets the relationship between reader and writer.
As emotion growing out of the material and connecting the material to the reader, tone reveals the writer’s personality.
Example
"Such according to this most authentic old story, was all that was to be found of Tom’s wife." Washington Irving "The Devil and Tom Walker"
Detail
Imagery
Syntax
Tone
Writer’s Voice Defined
Voice, the color and texture of communication, stamps expression with the indelible mark of personality.
It expresses who we are: the fingerprint of a person’s language.
Elements of Voice
Diction-(word choice) the foundation of voice; contributes to all of its elements.
Detail-(facts, observations, and incidents) used to develop a topic, shaping and seasoning voice.
Imagery-(verbal representation of sense experience) brings the immediacy of sensory experience to writing and gives voice a distinctive quality.
Elements of Voice (cont.)
Syntax-(grammatical sentence structure) controls verbal pacing and focus.
Tone-(expression of attitude) gives voice its distinctive personality
Diction: Words
Create color and texture of written work
Reflect and determine level of formality
Shape the reader’s perception
What is a "writer’s voice"?
You learn at a very young age to interpret not only what your parents say but more importantly what they don’t say.
A writer doesn’t have the advantage of verbal and facial cues to interpret hidden meanings.
A writer’s voice helps them communicate intended meanings without "verbal cues".
Example
Cues- "The old stories add, moreover, that the devil presided at the hiding of the money, and took it under his guardianship; but this, it is well known, he always does with buried treasure; particularly when it has been ill gotten." Washington Irving "The Devil and Tom Walker"
Diction
Choosing clear, concrete, and exact words helps shape voice.
Good writer’s avoid words like pretty, nice, and bad.
Instead they choose words that invoke a specific effect: A coat isn’t torn; it is tattered. The United States Army does not want revenge; it is thirsting for revenge. A door does not shut; it thuds.
Specific diction brings the reader into the scene, enabling full participation in the writer’s world.
Example
Word choice- "…he met a black man one evening in his usual woodman’s dress, with his ax on his shoulder, sauntering along the swamp, and humming a tune." Washington Irving "The Devil and Tom Walker"
Example
Word choice- "Alice seemed to find nothing unusual in our embrace; she walked – almost danced, her movements were so graceful – to the center of the room, where she folded herself sinuously onto the floor." Stephenie Meyer Twilight
Diction
Diction depends on topic, purpose, and occasion.
The topic often determines the specificity and sophistication of diction
For example, articles on computers are filled with specialized language: e-mail, e-shopping, web, interface
Many topics generate special vocabularies as a link to meaning.
Diction
When choosing your words, you must consider both connotation (the meaning suggested by a word) and denotation (literal meaning).
Calling a character slender evokes a different feeling from calling the character gaunt.
Diction
Finally, diction can impart freshness and originality to writing.
Words used in surprising or unusual ways make us rethink what is known and re-examine meaning.
Good writers opt for complexity rather than simplicity, for multiple meanings rather than precision.
Diction, the foundation of voice, shapes a reader’s thinking while guiding reader insight into the author’s expression of thought.
Detail: facts, observations, and incidents
Detail brings life and color to description, focusing the reader’s attention and bringing the reader into the scene.
Detail encourages the reader to participate in the text.
Use of detail influences the reader’s views of the topic, the setting, the narrator, and the author.
Example
Description- "The swamp was thickly grown with great gloomy pines and hemlocks, some of them ninety feet high…partly covered with weeds and mosses, where the green surface often betrayed the traveler into a gulf of black, smothering mud…" Washington Irving "The Devil and Tom Walker"
Example
"We walked up the massive staircase, my hand trailing along the satin-smooth rail. The long hall at the top of the stairs was paneled with a honey-colored wood, the same as the floorboards." Stephenie Meyer Twilight
Detail
Details make an abstraction concrete, particular, and unmistakable, giving the abstraction form.
Detail focuses description and prepares readers to join the action.
Detail
Good writers choose detail with care, selecting those details which add meaning and avoiding those that trivialize or detract.
Imagery-sensory experience
In literature, all five senses may be represented
Imagery
Visual imagery is most common, but good writers experiment with a variety of images and even purposefully intermingle the senses (giving smells a color, for example) ["Lilacs have a purple smell. Lilac is the smell of nightfall, I think." John Proctor in Arthur Miller’s The Crucible]
Imagery depends on both diction and detail: an image’s success in producing a sensory experience results from the specificity of the author’s diction and choice of detail.
Imagery contributes to voice by evoking vivid experience, conveying specific emotion, and suggesting a particular idea.
Imagery
Imagery itself isn’t figurative, but may be used to impart figurative or symbolic meaning.
The parched earth can be a metaphor for a character’s despair, or a bird’s flight a metaphor for hope.
Example
Metaphor- "It was announced in the papers with the usual flourish, that a great man had fallen in Israel." Washington Irving "The Devil and Tom Walker"
Example
His skin, white despite the faint flush from yesterday’s hunting trip, literally sparkled, like thousands of tiny diamonds were embedded in the surface. He lay perfectly still in the grass, his shirt open over his sculpted, incandescent chest, his scintillating arms bare. His glistening, pale lavender lids are shut, though of course he didn’t sleep. A perfect statue, carved in some unknown stone, smooth like marble, glittering like crystal." Stephenie Meyer Twilight
Imagery
Traditional imagery typically has a history.
A river, for example, is usually associated with life’s journey.
Syntax: word arrangement
How writers control and manipulate the sentence is a strong determiner of voice and gives personality to the writing.
Syntax encompasses word order, sentence length, sentence focus, and punctuation.
Syntax
Deviating from the expected word order can serve to startle the reader and draw attention to the sentence.
Try these changes to normal order: inverting subject and verb (Am I ever sorry!) placing a complement at the beginning of a sentence (Hungry, without a doubt, he is) placing an object in front of a verb (Sara I like - not Susan).
Good writers shift between conformity and nonconformity to avoid reader complacency.
Syntax
Varying sentence length forestalls reader boredom and controls emphasis.
A short sentence following a much longer sentence shifts the reader’s attention, which emphasizes the meaning and importance of the short sentence.
Syntax
Punctuation also reinforces meaning and adds variety.
The semicolon gives equal weight to two or more independent clauses. It gives balance and emphasizes equal value to both parts of the sentence.
The colon directs reader attention to the words that follow. A colon, sets the expectation that important, closely related information will follow.
The dash marks a sudden change in thought or tone, sets off a brief summary. The dash often conveys a casual tone.
Example
Punctuation- "The needy and adventurous, the gambling speculator, the dreaming land jobber, the thriftless tradesman, the merchant with cracked credit,-in short, everyone driven to raise money by desperate means and desperate sacrifices hurried to Tom Walker." Washington Irving "The Devil and Tom Walker
Example
The vampire who wanted to be good – who ran around saving people’s lives so he wouldn’t be a monster…I stared toward the front of the room." Stephenie Meyer Twilight
Tone: attitude
The writer creates tone by selection (diction) and arrangement (syntax) of words, and by purposeful use of details and images.
Tone sets the relationship between reader and writer.
As emotion growing out of the material and connecting the material to the reader, tone reveals the writer’s personality.
Example
"Such according to this most authentic old story, was all that was to be found of Tom’s wife." Washington Irving "The Devil and Tom Walker"
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